After 4 days我还是不懂怎样

BISA :C+
Q.S :C
MACRO :C+
F.O.A :F
ENG :B-
BM :B-
STASTISTIC :F
MICRO :F

Result of semester 2.:(
SHIT man~~~

Still the same of the result of resit paper.Damn disappointed.I know to do during exam,what I expected is I can pass it.For this semester,I failed F.O.A-the subject I most worry and not understand.

I don't think to keep resit.For me,it' waste in my time even I really wish to continue the course.

YOU can't feels the kind of feelings happens on me.I suffer too when anyone said to me:"don't stop,continue your studies,just resit,if not it is really wasted.The half way almost to reachs,It' not worth if you stop it.What you going to work after you quit?Think properly".WHAT yours telling me,I have listens to.It'impossible that I not understand what yours told me,right?Everybody wish to get a bright future,having a luxury life for myself and family,there including me.But at the end,I still need be tough to stand myside,because I have to facing everyone around me.For those are disagree about me,I don't know how to explain of my reason,that why I keep quite.For SOME of them disagree but GIVES support to me,I appreciate much.For my lovely parents..I owe daddy and mummy--SORRY--..Be honestly,I not to make disappointed to you and waste their money.They give expectations on me since I was small,now I growing up and I have responsibility to put much effort to achive my wish and give the best things for them when they getting old.But now,I made a wrong decision and have to change to another way.For this moment,I really realize there'lots of differences in mind and"mouth-talk" while aged is going up..

我想了好久, 我认为停止这课程是我的选择.
我对它厌倦了,我吸收不到.
我没真正的决定是因为我顾虑很多方面的元素..不只是因为我本身的问题...
其实我真的很心烦很辛苦,我不敢诉,身体的问题.心里的问题.以后的问题.
连我都厌自己烦了,
更何况是他人?
一听到我说要停学,
他们会一直劝我继续读,不然会后悔,考不了再考过..
之前作了选择,现在路都走了一半,为何给浪费掉? 不值得!..
问我为什么别人能,而我不能?再辛苦别人也敖得过,为什么我又不能?..
普通的高中文凭怎么找工做,现在去做工不会高薪,能做什么? ..
不读书能做什么?揾食艰难..
边做工边再找有兴趣的课程是骗人的,因为做工了就不会有读书的念头了..

体会到呼吸能那么困难,每一次听你们这样说我的心被扯一次..
我不想解释我的看法,因为你们是不认同不支持我放弃的.
唯一我确定的是我明白你们的用心,怕我后悔做决定.
坦白说,我是怕可是我会面对,什么事情都是自己的意愿,无论怎样也没资格去责怪..
你们说现在不适合工作,更要努力去拥有一个为将来而设的理想前进...
这些...通通...我都知道.. 我也没有理由说不懂因为这是事实!
可能我会拥有一条更好的路*可能我会工作的好好*可能我会报读其他的课程*
我们有太多的可能, 我不相信我永远是不幸运不努力的那一个~
此刻我是有着那种只能体会而不会说话的感觉,变成我不懂怎么去解释..唉:(
每个人的观点都不一样吧,理所当然的我也是那一个..

或许我是对的.................................................
错的.............................................................
除此之外,我不知要怎样.

写着这篇的时候,
突然妈进了我房间.
她看见桌上的饼干和FERRERO ROCHER 的包装纸后 ,就问我:"又吃巧克力和饼干?"
我说:"是的."
她又问我:"你不怕的吗?"*意思是肥*
我答:"我不是吃多啦!"
她没出声,我后补一句:"我很烦不是吃咯~" 她就出去了.
那一刻我眼泪掉了,我压抑的情绪想爆发了.