我

羡慕
空虚
徬惶

好好装备自己,让自己看起来有自信
我真的不知道能撑多久!

年龄渐长
思想不断蜕变
追求的就只会一天比一天的多


原來,
变成一个放纵的坏女子,
只不过是举手之劳之事 .
只是看自己想或不想要而已.....

以不伤害的方式去改变,
行吗?

28MARCH2009

TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT

8.30pm-9.30pm(only 1 hour)


Let's do WHAT we can change TO the world ..


TOGeThEr....together..

EARTH60


I gonna do it.....
yeah:)

I LOVE EARTH!!!

学车

学了三次，还是很笨咧！！！！
今天学naik test，不顺利耶。
我看啊~我要学的比别人久呱...
Uncle 一直讲讲讲。哈哈
唉！一个字-‘笨’
白痴~~

呜呜........................................
加油咯！！

Read this.

It's natural to assume that groovy male stars would only be attracted to women as gorgeous as they are.
But,that's not always the case.
Read on!
To find out what turns these starts on,especially when it comes to matter of the heart.

Justin Timberland:"What's important is the kind of feelings you have when you're with a woman who has a lot of grace and composure."

Aaron Kwok:'' Big eyes,small lips and a healthy body."

LeeHom:"I would prefer an independent woman that someone who doesn't call me all the time to check where am I or what I'm doing"

Kwon Sang Woo:"I like a woman who has a good complexion and beautiful eyes."


.Women's week.

Do you excited about what' LeeHom said?:)
Yer.I did.

The LAST day

120309.Thursday.
Today,Jolene,YinSin,ChunSien,ChengMei accompany me went to admin block..I summit the withdraw form at the counter and the staff asked me to return my studenet I.D card.The moment I pass the card to the staff,I felt sad~especially when they all stand with me.I'll miss the time I spent with them during lecture hall,tutorial class,lunch time,the days we play fun together..I swear I keep them inside my heart...Remember!!!I leave from college,it doesn't means I leaving from yours.We must keep in touch^^And I waiting for date with THEM..

I shouldn't make myself disappointed.I will do my best in the next.
I miss all of you,especially is you.

After finished last Organisation Behaviour class,Jolene and I waiting for Bernard at canteen.After that,we spent our time at KLCC.We chit-chat and share topics each other,I happy and enjoyed!I appreciate much that both of you being my friend..Things are really unpredictable...thanks.:)

I sad but I happy.

心里的感动

Date:09/03/2009
Time:21.55

*爸爸在享用着晚餐时，我告诉他关于我的决定，他知道后地反应是对着我发笑，然后就向我说了一句：“嗯。。你自己喜欢吧！自己决定。。’’之前我都有和妈妈谈过，妈妈都没给压力或责骂过我，妈妈说这都是我的选择，我来决定就好了，不要烦酱多。我知道妈妈的关心， 感谢妈妈^^
而爸没反对我，从小到大，爸也从来没给过我任何压力和约束，本来我是应该开心才对的，但我并没有！ 而是心情down了下来，心酸酸的。总觉得是敷衍的话。。后来。。才发觉他不是那个意思。。**

没多久，我就拿着手机发呆，不知道要做些什么。坐在客厅里，我又对着电视荧幕前发呆，真无奈。爸就坐在我面前。犹豫了几分钟，我鼓起勇气问爸：爸，其实你会对我失望吗？ 爸看着回我说：我不会。我问：为什么？爸轻打我的头一下，他看见我眼角流泪，就向我说：“傻妹，路不是我们说set好的就这样走，读不到，还有其他东西可以做。不用一直逼自己，何苦呢？顺其自然吧！’’那一刻，我的心仿佛得到一种窝心的安慰。感动。。。我在想，有家人支持真好~
*我讨厌没沟通就流泪，却又控制不了*
接着，妈妈开起玩笑和我说：你不要变成神经病，如果在精神病院看到你，岂不更惨？就这样的人生，我和你爸更晕！听后，我真哭笑不得~

渐渐地，生活开始起了变化...


我的另一种感动..
Thanks for my dearly...
I had received warm messages from them...
It' could'nt be measure by words~


''每个人的观点不一样，我还是尊重你的决定。我只希望你快乐.''

"all people have different perspective,you couldn't put effort on studies,then put effort on other that you're interested. ''

"No matter what'your decision,I will always support you,my dear."

"我知道你的感受和想法，不要害怕！要勇敢！清晰自己的选择就好了。我支持你！"

"琪，加油！无论如何支持你的决定！！！不要难过哦！"

"我明白了。既然你决定好了， 我就支持你吧^^加油！"

''^^jia you my dear^^''

''it spiritually support you^^''

''Mm I understand liao..anyway,jolene and I also would support you and wish you all the best in the future.."

''chyi,you made a right choice for your own.just do it!''




谢谢你们..!!!thank you very much!!!arigatou!!!
:)


chloe*kaywai*jolene*bernard*samuel*chun sien*joey*carlmen*.......

我想再说一遍

我不是因为一时无心而不继续读这课程 ，一开始我知道我选错了，只是不晓得会搞砸成这样。我是有去培养对它的兴趣。第一次，我不及格，我告诉自己要忍，再一次机会去试下。第二次，我不是没用心，我有认真，结果还是这样的错。我不介意你说我不够付出多一倍的勤劳，我觉得我没有错，我不想逼得太紧。时间，精神， 金钱浪费了，我更知道半途而废是不值得，很可惜，可是我就是决定了，我不想和别人做比较，而我只是一直在在意。换来的是难过，让自己和家人失望。虽然不是什么大挫折，但我仿佛掉到暗角落里。我要撑住~即使怕后悔，怕别人怎去看待我。有个人告诉我要活在自己当下，向好的方面去想。我还是要硬着去面对，这就是“成长’’的一小部分。

朋友寄给我的一封信息：

路不必看太清，
看得越清走的越迷茫，
将来以后别去想，
想的越多烦的越多，
生活不必太认真，
越认真越觉得累，
有时候，
人生难得糊涂，
最重要的是国的简单开心就好。

Simple but relax days*07&08 MARCH 2009*

Village.

Ah Sa really cute!:)
This little boy is cute too^^
*why you took photo on me?*
Before makeup...
After makeup...

• I went to pahang with jolene and her mummy after finish class at college.Actually is follow them back to hometown^^sasa together with us too,it' really cute!
  
• Such relaxing in this two days..thanks:)
• Enjoyed village life...Fresh air***
  
• Talk with jol' cute grandma,she was 92 years old but doesn't look old yer..
• Her aunties are nice people.Quite funny too:)
• Organic foods we taken at there,fresh betul!and hand-made' noodles~
  
• And many durian there.Delicious!
• Jol and I wash hair at saloon there just RM5 per person only.What I excited was the girl wash our hair with shampoo and help us to massage twice times!so..so...worth if compared with KL' saloon here...haha...
• At night,I slept without holding pillow:)
• I bought nokia battery at 60ringgit,handphone cover at 25ringgit,screen protector at 5 ringgit only.^^haiz...but now I have to save more because really facing financial problem:(
• Around 5pm on 8 march,we came back to K.L..And I have to think properly and make decision about my studies..pity.
  

无声的哭泣

昨天
我从彭亨回来了
昨午
我写起部落格来了
昨晚
鼓起勇气告诉爸爸了
又发生了一点事
怎知
我的情绪不听话 输给了眼泪
结果
躲在被单里
稀里哗啦的不能控制
就这样的
无声地哭泣 伴我入眠了
I'll okay.
还有 谢谢你 谢谢

今天的中午12点
打开眼睛
我觉得舒服了许多
妈妈连续叫我起床两次
第一次时 眼睛睁不开
第二次时 我终于起床了
照着镜子的时候
我吓了一跳!
我的眼睛...眼睛...变小了很多
梳洗之后
我马上用上mascara 不然我的小眼睛丁点生气也没有
之后
就和妈妈去吃"早餐"了
擂茶饭...饱极了!

现在
坐在电脑荧幕前
可能会追看珠光宝气,盛世仁杰......

别的再说吧~

After 4 days我还是不懂怎样

BISA :C+
Q.S :C
MACRO :C+
F.O.A :F
ENG :B-
BM :B-
STASTISTIC :F
MICRO :F

Result of semester 2.:(
SHIT man~~~

Still the same of the result of resit paper.Damn disappointed.I know to do during exam,what I expected is I can pass it.For this semester,I failed F.O.A-the subject I most worry and not understand.

I don't think to keep resit.For me,it' waste in my time even I really wish to continue the course.

YOU can't feels the kind of feelings happens on me.I suffer too when anyone said to me:"don't stop,continue your studies,just resit,if not it is really wasted.The half way almost to reachs,It' not worth if you stop it.What you going to work after you quit?Think properly".WHAT yours telling me,I have listens to.It'impossible that I not understand what yours told me,right?Everybody wish to get a bright future,having a luxury life for myself and family,there including me.But at the end,I still need be tough to stand myside,because I have to facing everyone around me.For those are disagree about me,I don't know how to explain of my reason,that why I keep quite.For SOME of them disagree but GIVES support to me,I appreciate much.For my lovely parents..I owe daddy and mummy--SORRY--..Be honestly,I not to make disappointed to you and waste their money.They give expectations on me since I was small,now I growing up and I have responsibility to put much effort to achive my wish and give the best things for them when they getting old.But now,I made a wrong decision and have to change to another way.For this moment,I really realize there'lots of differences in mind and"mouth-talk" while aged is going up..

我想了好久, 我认为停止这课程是我的选择.
我对它厌倦了,我吸收不到.
我没真正的决定是因为我顾虑很多方面的元素..不只是因为我本身的问题...
其实我真的很心烦很辛苦,我不敢诉,身体的问题.心里的问题.以后的问题.
连我都厌自己烦了,
更何况是他人?
一听到我说要停学,
他们会一直劝我继续读,不然会后悔,考不了再考过..
之前作了选择,现在路都走了一半,为何给浪费掉? 不值得!..
问我为什么别人能,而我不能?再辛苦别人也敖得过,为什么我又不能?..
普通的高中文凭怎么找工做,现在去做工不会高薪,能做什么? ..
不读书能做什么?揾食艰难..
边做工边再找有兴趣的课程是骗人的,因为做工了就不会有读书的念头了..

体会到呼吸能那么困难,每一次听你们这样说我的心被扯一次..
我不想解释我的看法,因为你们是不认同不支持我放弃的.
唯一我确定的是我明白你们的用心,怕我后悔做决定.
坦白说,我是怕可是我会面对,什么事情都是自己的意愿,无论怎样也没资格去责怪..
你们说现在不适合工作,更要努力去拥有一个为将来而设的理想前进...
这些...通通...我都知道.. 我也没有理由说不懂因为这是事实!
可能我会拥有一条更好的路*可能我会工作的好好*可能我会报读其他的课程*
我们有太多的可能, 我不相信我永远是不幸运不努力的那一个~
此刻我是有着那种只能体会而不会说话的感觉,变成我不懂怎么去解释..唉:(
每个人的观点都不一样吧,理所当然的我也是那一个..

或许我是对的.................................................
错的.............................................................
除此之外,我不知要怎样.

写着这篇的时候,
突然妈进了我房间.
她看见桌上的饼干和FERRERO ROCHER 的包装纸后 ,就问我:"又吃巧克力和饼干?"
我说:"是的."
她又问我:"你不怕的吗?"*意思是肥*
我答:"我不是吃多啦!"
她没出声,我后补一句:"我很烦不是吃咯~" 她就出去了.
那一刻我眼泪掉了,我压抑的情绪想爆发了.

平凡的一天

倒数三天!!!
成绩要揭晓了......
唉
说真的,没把握!还是要做决定
因为害怕，更不想去知道成绩有多烂
像上次一样,
神经交错的感觉又涌出来了,
一定会失眠,
一直听见心砰砰跳的声音,
...请你保佑我... 保佑我 ...

我不否认我是个逃避现实,没勇气的人.
我不敢再轻易地对自己许下承诺,
更何况是对家人?朋友?或别人?
渐渐地,可能是我不喜欢听别人说什么~承诺~
承诺是要在他人面前用行动来证明的,不是吗?


昨晚接到driving centre的来电,
她问我几时要开始学车?突然,我讲不出声,我似不够时间去整理好我的事,真好笑!
我就干脆说下星期才开始咯.. 之后再等他们的通知.
哇 -----好期待-----
不懂到时的我学车的状况会如何的~勇往直前吧!哈哈

最近,又看腻了自己的头发,闷闷的
想发泄一下
coming soon 的星期四
我又想再染发了,行吗?
不知妹会“赞助”我吗?嘻嘻
看情况吧****

今天不知怎搞的?我整天在发呆叻!==
可能是睡眠不够吧!都习惯了啦:)
还有今天上课不到一个小时就放课了,无聊!
之后和朋友去肯德基
蛮久没吃cheezy wedges了..好吃!!
惨的是,
又肥死了!:(
下次还是不要了.
回家时,还真怕下起雨来耶..

前天听玲说他拜六回去彭亨,
我就说:我也要去!
怎知道...
今天她告诉我说:妈咪叫你也一起去玩
真的吗?嘻嘻...
我笑了以来,因为那天我只是说说而已哦..
但其实也蛮想去的~
去走走，放松下自己也好嘛..
不过呢,如果没跟着去,
我也不会怎样..
起码今天的对话已让我开心下了嘛^-^


现在 7点27分
看着房间的窗外
天渐渐暗淡了
是时候洗个澡,吃晚餐了
但我不是很想吃饭
你们吃饱了吗?
陪我吃,好吗?^^
*没人听见我,只能看见我写的*
像白痴一位:)

byebye...